Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Monument

I struggle with what to call this...headstone? Grave marker? Monument? They all sound really weird to me, so if you have a good name for it PLEASE pass it on!

We have a rough draft from the company that makes the ________. I like it. Adam even drew the cute little ILY hand. He worked extra hard to make it look like a child's hand and not an adult hand. He did a great job!


Inside the rectangles and the circle will be a lighter unpolished granite whereas the area on the outside will be a darker, polished granite.

The saying at the bottom has special meaning for our family. Whenever anyone left or as we were tucking the boys into bed this is the conversation we had:

"Bye, I love you!"
"I love you more!"
"No, I love you more!"
"I love you more than the world!"
"I love you more than all the trees!"
"I love you more than...etc" We really got creative.

Lastly we would say: "I love you more than space!" (To which Dallin would add "I love you more than a thousand spaces!" and on and on and on.)

It sometimes got out of hand, but looking back I'm so glad we say "I love you" so often!
Family

It was good to see Adam's family. They came all the way from Cobourg, Ontario Canada and spent more than a week taking care of things for us. Maura enjoyed grandma and grandpa time.


Aren't sisters (and brothers) the best? I know whenever I need them they come-even if it means a 4 hour drive and a 2 hour plane ride with a newborn baby.


Funny story, when people asked if my family was coming I said "Yes, my sisters are flying in from Salt Lake City-Gina, Jennifer and David...oh, I mean and my brother David!" Love ya, Daze!



Again, Mookie is spoiled by her Aunt Jenny-fer-fer. I love the uncontrollable urge everyone has to open their mouths when feeding babies!
Garrett LOOOOVED riding the bus!

The bus driver was always so friendly and happy to see Garrett. He would wait on the curb for her to pull up and open the doors. Then came the ritual of waving over and over while the bus pulled away.


After school I was suppose to meet him on the curb again and sometimes I was late so he got to honk the horn! How cool is that??

"A Mother's Lullaby"

Peaceful, lie peaceful, my dear little one,
Under the starlight, under the sun.
Summer and winter roll soft your head.

Sleep, gently sleep in your small earthen bed.

Yesterday, yesterday two little feet
Ran through the meadow, the wildflowers sweet.
Snow-time and flower-time cover you deep.
Peaceful, lie peaceful as I lay you to sleep.

Yesterday, yesterday two little feet
Romped on their way, and the summer was sweet.
But now faith whispers soft as I bid you goodnight.
My angel walks through a garden of light.

Blessed, oh blessed the day of our Lord,
Blessed the dead who shall rise at his word.
Blessed the angels who swing wide the door.
Blessed the time when I hold you once more.


*My dad found this poem and read it at the funeral. I can almost read the whole thing without sobbing.

Monday, May 19, 2008

My Brother and sisters who were with us in Wyoming. We are only missing my youngest brother David who came to Mesa, but had to get back to work in Salt Lake City.


Kathleen(#5), Bekki(#1), Trenton(#4), Jennifer(#3), Gina(#2)

This is the marker for my mother's grave just a few feet away from Garrett.
Grave side service in Wyoming

I finally got some pictures of us in Wyoming-thanks Gina!

Those you can see: Kelly (brother-in-law), Trenton (brother), Adam and Dalllin (you can also see the arm of Kyle (brother-in-law), Brady (Dallin's cousin) also helped.


Dallin is a sensitive kid. He saw that I was sad so he came to sit on my lap. He will often give me a hug when I am not happy and pat my back or just hold my hand and pat it.


The flowers survived the trip from Mesa.


The wind was blowing, so we don't have many good pictures of us...


This one is a little better.

It's sad to think how small Maura is...she'll never really get to know her brother Garrett.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

He LOVED water!

We live in Arizona, so it's no surprise that we visit water parks whenever we can. Garrett was crazy about water whether it was at a splash park, a pool, or just playing in the sprinklers at home.

Cousins at the Tempe town lake splash park-summer 2007



The tub was as good of a place as any to play in the water.


Swimming lessons were one of his favorite things. After the first lesson it became apparent that Garrett was the "bad kid" in class. He was more interested in going under, blowing bubbles, and trying to swim than he was listening to the teacher. But, I think he was still well liked because at the end of each lesson he would wave to his teacher or hug her and say "Bye teacher, I love you!"


Such fun memories...thanks for the pictures Gina!

Friday, May 16, 2008

So, what happened?

I can see this question in almost every face that gives me a hug. It's the elephant in the room that no one wants to point out, but everyone can feel. I don't mind talking about it. I'm not sure why. Maybe because I can talk about facts, it's my emotions I can't talk about.


So here it is in a nutshell:

Garrett didn't feel too good on Sunday, but I wasn't worried. He had a low-grade fever off and on, and was just sleepy. He didn't want to eat much but drank fine. We stayed home from church and snuggled a lot. That night was rough-he didn't sleep well and started throwing up, so first thing in the morning I got him in to see our doctor. She listened to his lungs and thought maybe he had pneumonia. So, she gave him an antibiotic shot and another shot Fenigrin (sp?) for his nausea along with an antibiotic prescription and instructions to make him drink. We were worried that he wasn't hydrated enough (none of us are really, it's Arizona for goodness sakes) but if he urinated in the next few hours then just keep pushing liquids, if not then take him to the ER and get an I.V. She also warned me that he would be really sleepy that day because of the shots.

That day he slept a lot and I pushed fluids and he ate a little but not much. He was just very lethargic but he urinated and wanted Burger King for dinner :-). That night was restless again and I was worried so off to the ER early in the morning.

They gave him an I.V. and ran some tests. He was somewhat responsive to us but acted very very tired almost like he was drugged. The doctors suspected it was still the medication from the shot. We spent 12 hours in the ER with no big concern, just letting him sleep and getting him hydrated. Because he was still not responsive they wanted to admit him.

Late that night we got into a room. The night was restless again even being very restless at some points. Around midnight I called Adam (he was at a conference in San Diego) and said "Come home, I can't do this alone". He planned to get on the next plane and be home by 9am. During the night there were bouts of restlessness where he would call out as if something hurt and I couldn't understand him. Then his heart rate became erratic slowing often and setting off alarms. It would speed up when I touched him and talked to him, so I touched and talked and hugged him often.

The nurses were concerned and brought in the PICU doctor for a consult. She thought that maybe they would transfer him so they could keep a better eye on him, but would consult with another doctor first. Up till now, no one acted very concerned. He had what they thought was a virus his body would fight with the help of antibiotics, antivirals and the I.V. I wasn't super concerned either, just very very tired.

While we were waiting for them to talk Garrett started to have seizures. We called in the doctor and it seemed as if the entire PICU staff came running. They whisked us down the hall and got him into the PICU where he continued to have seizures. They gave him medication to stop them and medication to stop any swelling of the brain. He had a CT scan previously in the ER and everything was normal then, but they wanted to do another CT and an MRI as well because of the seizing.

He continued to seize and they had to intubate him. Then off to the CT and it looked normal, no swelling but small spots that meant the brain did not get enough oxygen in very small places-no huge worries.

A couple hours later off to get an MRI. When the results came back the doctor, with his shoulders slumped said "It is very bad news." His brain had massive trauma. He gave him a zero chance for recovery but they would do more tests and help as much as they could for 24 hours.

That's how fast it was. From the second CT scan that showed a slight concern to massive trauma it happened in about 4 hours. We still don't know what he had. They said he died of encephalitis, which really means a swelling of the brain that can be caused by numerous things, bacteria, viruses, etc. They assume, because of the low-grade fever, it was some kind of virus. The center for infectious diseases ran tests on known viruses for the area (20 of them such as West Nile and others) but the results came back negative. They don't know.

Those are the facts. The emotions of it are very different and hard to talk about, but one thing I know-it was his time to go. That's the comfort I have had through all of this. God is powerful. If Garrett was meant to stay with us he would still be here.

I know he is happy and in a good place, but the selfish person that I am misses him terribly and wishes he were still here.


Monday, May 12, 2008

Thank You

Thank you for the food, the cards, phone calls, treats for the drive, taking care of our house, the hugs, the great expression of love and prayers from so many. We are blessed to have so many people who care about us. There aren't words to express how much comfort we have gotten from your kind words. Thank you!

One of the many gifts and kind words was a picture book I found on my dresser as we were packing for Wyoming. I thought it was a picture book for Dallin, so I threw it in the car to read on the way. When I finally was able to open it and read, I found it was actually a book for our whole family called "Tear Soup". I think I read it 10 times on the drive, then had my sister, dad, and anyone else I could latch on to read it as well. It is a great book for how to deal with loss of any kind.



Take a look if you are interested, or ask me-I'll be happy to share it with you!

Again, thank you for everything.

Family trip

Sunday afternoon we began our family trip. Some would think it was strange to have Garrett riding with us, to me it was more comforting than strange.



It's a long drive to Star Valley Wyoming-about 14 hours. We made it an even longer trip stopping often and even staying a night in Panguich, a small town in southern Utah.

We stopped at places we've always wanted to stop and climbed rocks, looked at the scenery and talked a lot. I don't think we even turned on the radio or listened to a CD. It was a hard trip going up, coming home was even harder.



The grave-side services in Wyoming were very nice-so many people came to show their love and concern for us. We are so blessed. (I haven't found a picture of it yet, but I will)

A couple of days later we went and got a shepherd's hook and a wind sock to put at the grave-site. We also put a small granite slab for now that has the words "Families are Forever" engraved on it. Hopefully the monument will be set before we go up this summer.



Garrett is buried next to my mom-you can see her headstone not far away.


It's hard to be home without him.

Sunday, May 4, 2008

If you would like to share your memories or pictures of Garrett, please send them to

garrettmemories @ gmail . com

(without all the spaces).

Saturday, May 3, 2008

Graveside Service
Tuesday, May 6
11:00 a.m.
Grover Wyoming Cemetery

Friday, May 2, 2008

Thank you, thank you, thank you to soooo many people for food, flowers, kind words, prayers, thoughts, help in organizing all the stuff that has to be done but doesn't really seem important to me right now, and so much more.

It has given me some much needed time to look at pictures and write down thoughts and memories. Here are a few pictures that are my favorite!






I know I'm a mother, and I'm biased, but this kid should have been a star!


He and his bestest brother are "cool dudes".

Thursday, May 1, 2008

We have had so many people generously offer to help or donate in some way. Rather than plants or flowers that Adam would forget to water, we suggest a donation to help cover medical expenses.

They can be sent to:
PMB 93
1235 S. Gilbert Rd. Ste 3
Mesa, Az 85204

Thank you again for thinking of us.

(Note: This is a Postal Mail Box--similar to a P.O. Box. Checks can be made out to Adam or Bekki Russell.)
We have many friends and family who need the services of ASL interpreters. There will be interpreters at the service.

Chris Hansen has generously offered to be the interpreter coordinator (thanks!).

If you would like to volunteer to help by interpreting please contact him.
Garrett Wayne Russell, the sweetest, cutest, happiest little guy you could have ever known left this life Thursday, May 1, 2008. Although we know we will be together again someday we will miss him terribly.

Thank you all for your prayers and kind thoughts on our behalf.

Funeral services will be held Saturday, May 3rd in Mesa at the Mesa South Stake Building of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day saints. The building is located in Mesa on Southern ave. between Stapley and Gilbert (1415 E. Southern Ave. 85204).

The viewing will be from 1:30-2:15 with funeral services at 2:30pm.

All are welcome.


We will then be taking a family drive to Wyoming where he will be buried in Grover next to his Grandma Jonesy and where his Aunt Gina can babysit him :-).

Those of you in the northern regions who won't be able to come to Mesa are welcome to come to a grave-side service that is tentatively scheduled for Tuesday, May 6th.

We will continue to update information as it changes.
Self portrait!


Information will be posted as we have it. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.