Dallin is doing okay. He's a typical 8 year old boy wanting to play with friends, not do his homework, and into anything having to do with transformers, cars, Iron Man or The Hulk. At least that's how life is most of the time.
I sometimes forget that he is also dealing with missing Garrett and then something happens and his reaction surprises me. Tonight Maura smacked her mouth on the edge of her crib and cut her lip. There was a surprising amount of blood and it took me a minute to figure out that it was just her lip and nothing else. There was blood on her PJ's and my shirt and her hands and down her chin. I told Dallin to hurry and get a washcloth for me. I think maybe I scared him because after I calmed Maura down and got her washed up I couldn't find Dallin. I thought he was reading stories on the couch, but he wasn't there. I looked and found him already in his bed (not normal) and very very quiet. We started talking and he told me he was very worried about Maura. I reassured him that everything would be okay and he felt better, but it surprised me how upset he was.
He surprised me at the Primary Program a few weeks ago too when in the middle of it he came down off the stand and sat by us and cried for a little while. He said singing "I am a Child of God" made him miss Garrett.
Every once in a while he will get upset about something (usually when friends have to go home) and cry and scream and get really mad. After he calms down we talk about why he was so upset and how it's not an appropriate way to communicate with me. Often it leads to discussions about how much he misses Garrett.
I think his responses are pretty typical and to be expected. I feel the exact same way (although I cry and scream when I'm alone). I'm not worried about him and I don't think we need to find a counselor or anything, but every once in a while he surprises me with how emotional he gets over small things.
Overall, I think we have become better friends. He has become my helper for Maura and we do a lot of things together and I depend on him more to help around the house. If I am feeling sad he comes and gives me a hug and rubs my back-he doesn't say anything, he just hugs me like he understands. I guess it's normal for a family to cling together more after a traumatic experience.
I think I have gotten to know my own son better in the last few months than I ever have. In some ways I'm grateful for the closeness it has brought us. It's another blessing Garrett has brought to our family.
4 comments:
Oh- Wow. Poor little guy. I'm glad you have such a great family that are able to comfort each other. We'll keep praying for you.
Thank you so very much for sharing your thoughts and feelings of Garrett. I miss him so very much, I still expect him to come bouncing into the house asking me if Jace can play. Like Dallin, the sacrament program was hard for me to. I was just sitting there enjoying the program, when the kids all got up to sing, I saw Mitchell standing there smiling. I could see an image of his best buddy standing there with him singing right along! For a split second I wondered if he was stuck behind some taller kids. But then I looked closer and felt him in my heart. How lucky we are to have your family in our lives. Thank you!
Give Dallin an extra hug from us some time. We miss you all and think of you often. We miss Garrett, too.
I'm so glad you keep this up... it's easier for me to read how you are doing rather than call and ask when you may not be up to talking about it. Kids are amazing how they seem to not be fazed by anything and then all of a sudden it seems like all of the emotion they have been holding back floods out. Unless I think about it, Garrett is just back in AZ with you guys. He has made me take more time with my own kids and appreciate them more. We love and miss you all.
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