Tuesday, October 21, 2008

My Blog Book

I finally got my blog book (2007) in the mail! It took me a while to get up the courage to edit it and proofread it. I then had it printed by BLURB and they did a good job!


While I was looking at the newest book and all the photos from 2007 (189 pages worth) I was thinking about Garrett. I really enjoyed looking at the pictures of all of us together and I was just amazed that we had such a cute little guy with us all the time.

I remember feeling like I was so lucky back then to have him all of the time and I only get him some of the time now. That was such a weird thought to have popped into my head-I only get him sometimes now.

I didn't think about it much until a few days later I had one of the Young women in my ward pull me aside and tell me a little story. She said she saw me walking a few days ago and had to look twice because she saw Garrett holding onto the stroller and walking along with me. He was smiling and walking and enjoying the day with me. It was a really neat story. I'm happy she shared it.

Then I remembered the thoughts I had when I looked at my book. It seems a little strange now to talk about, but I feel like he's around once in a while. Sometimes I get a strong feeling that he is here with us enjoying a little time with his family. Other times I like to imagine how he would react to what we are doing and what kinds of things he would say. Like this past Sunday in church we had the Primary program and I could just imagine what he would be doing. Standing in the front with his buddy Mitchell with a super big grin on his face and waving to us and singing as loud as he could even if he didn't know the words. Then standing up to do his part and getting a little shy after seeing all the faces looking at him. It was a fun thing to imagine.

So, my book made me happy and sad. Happy I have such great memories and wonderful experiences of the time we had with Garrett and sad that for now we only get him once in a while.

It also made me hug Maura a little longer today and play an extra game with Dallin while he is home because I get them both for the whole day.


4 comments:

Adventures of Matt and Rae said...

I'm so glad that you share these memories with us as well. I wish I could have gotten to know him, he seems like a wonderful little boy. Evertime I read these I always tear up. Thanks Bekki. I think you're a strong women and I hope that if (heaven forbid)I lose a child, that I could be even HALF as strong as you at least appear on the outside.

delilas said...

Wow! What a profound thoughts. The veil is so thin and we see through it, when we need too. You have a great perspective and I love to read about your experiences. oxoxo

Unknown said...

What a neat idea to turn your blog entries into a real book!

It is amazing to me how everyone that knew Garrett was touched in some way or another by him. He is a special boy! Weston often brings him up randomly. In fact, just this week we went to Burger King [to play] and he asked if Garrett was coming too. I explained that he was in heaven with Jesus.
Weston's reply, "why can't he ever come down and play?"
In short, I love to read all your stories. You are such a strength to me and so uplifting! Thanks for being such a great friend!

Leslie said...

Every time we invite you guys over I still think Garrett will show up too. It's always disappointing and sometimes overwhelming. I wish I could wrap my little mortal brain around the concept that our time on earth is such a small little blip in the eternal scheme of things. It just seems like we'll be here forever. And when one of us leaves it feels so permanent. What a sad sap I am today!

Thanks for continuing to share some of your feelings on this blog. It must be hard for you to be so public. I think I would talk about Garrett more but I am such a crybaby I just can't.

I love you guys.