So, what happened?

I can see this question in almost every face that gives me a hug. It's the elephant in the room that no one wants to point out, but everyone can feel. I don't mind talking about it. I'm not sure why. Maybe because I can talk about facts, it's my emotions I can't talk about.


So here it is in a nutshell:

Garrett didn't feel too good on Sunday, but I wasn't worried. He had a low-grade fever off and on, and was just sleepy. He didn't want to eat much but drank fine. We stayed home from church and snuggled a lot. That night was rough-he didn't sleep well and started throwing up, so first thing in the morning I got him in to see our doctor. She listened to his lungs and thought maybe he had pneumonia. So, she gave him an antibiotic shot and another shot Fenigrin (sp?) for his nausea along with an antibiotic prescription and instructions to make him drink. We were worried that he wasn't hydrated enough (none of us are really, it's Arizona for goodness sakes) but if he urinated in the next few hours then just keep pushing liquids, if not then take him to the ER and get an I.V. She also warned me that he would be really sleepy that day because of the shots.

That day he slept a lot and I pushed fluids and he ate a little but not much. He was just very lethargic but he urinated and wanted Burger King for dinner :-). That night was restless again and I was worried so off to the ER early in the morning.

They gave him an I.V. and ran some tests. He was somewhat responsive to us but acted very very tired almost like he was drugged. The doctors suspected it was still the medication from the shot. We spent 12 hours in the ER with no big concern, just letting him sleep and getting him hydrated. Because he was still not responsive they wanted to admit him.

Late that night we got into a room. The night was restless again even being very restless at some points. Around midnight I called Adam (he was at a conference in San Diego) and said "Come home, I can't do this alone". He planned to get on the next plane and be home by 9am. During the night there were bouts of restlessness where he would call out as if something hurt and I couldn't understand him. Then his heart rate became erratic slowing often and setting off alarms. It would speed up when I touched him and talked to him, so I touched and talked and hugged him often.

The nurses were concerned and brought in the PICU doctor for a consult. She thought that maybe they would transfer him so they could keep a better eye on him, but would consult with another doctor first. Up till now, no one acted very concerned. He had what they thought was a virus his body would fight with the help of antibiotics, antivirals and the I.V. I wasn't super concerned either, just very very tired.

While we were waiting for them to talk Garrett started to have seizures. We called in the doctor and it seemed as if the entire PICU staff came running. They whisked us down the hall and got him into the PICU where he continued to have seizures. They gave him medication to stop them and medication to stop any swelling of the brain. He had a CT scan previously in the ER and everything was normal then, but they wanted to do another CT and an MRI as well because of the seizing.

He continued to seize and they had to intubate him. Then off to the CT and it looked normal, no swelling but small spots that meant the brain did not get enough oxygen in very small places-no huge worries.

A couple hours later off to get an MRI. When the results came back the doctor, with his shoulders slumped said "It is very bad news." His brain had massive trauma. He gave him a zero chance for recovery but they would do more tests and help as much as they could for 24 hours.

That's how fast it was. From the second CT scan that showed a slight concern to massive trauma it happened in about 4 hours. We still don't know what he had. They said he died of encephalitis, which really means a swelling of the brain that can be caused by numerous things, bacteria, viruses, etc. They assume, because of the low-grade fever, it was some kind of virus. The center for infectious diseases ran tests on known viruses for the area (20 of them such as West Nile and others) but the results came back negative. They don't know.

Those are the facts. The emotions of it are very different and hard to talk about, but one thing I know-it was his time to go. That's the comfort I have had through all of this. God is powerful. If Garrett was meant to stay with us he would still be here.

I know he is happy and in a good place, but the selfish person that I am misses him terribly and wishes he were still here.